If you’re new here, you might want to meet my alter-ego before proceeding.
Channeling her inner Houdini, she managed to escape some time ago.
Evidently, she roamed all over God’s creation with a supply of Pabst, a friend of hers, and my temperamental time machine.
They also stole a bottle of champagne, but at this point, that is neither here nor there.
She’s been in my ear all morning attempting to explain herself. Twiggy arms flapping in excitement, stomping her tail to provide the occasional soundtrack, miming the actions of what is either an ancient tribal ritual or a story about being trapped in the middle of an Hermes sale (I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually)-regardless, she’s got a long way to go in describing her whereabouts these past months.
She wore herself out in the middle of a tale about Jose (the buddy of hers I mentioned), and so in an effort to get her to quiet down a bit, I asked her to write you all a note about how this adventure got started in the first place.