4 Mar

A balding man in a suit once asked my mother and I if we would have a threesome with him behind a tomb in Pere Lachaise.  That’s right-the resting grounds of  Colette, Chopin, Oscar Wilde,  and Jim Morrison are evidently also a prime location to proposition women for sex.

Since that day I have often wondered how successful this man had been prior to our encounter with him.  I assume he had been watching us for some time as we wandered through the cemetery, setting up a tripod for my mother’s camera (she was in a photography class at the time), and taking pictures of various headstones.  We climbed and positioned ourselves against the aging stone, just to get the right angle to frame our shots-happily chatting about lighting and symmetry; totally unaware of the perverted stalker.

He was obviously considering different angles for various activities in which he hoped we would happily participate.  After observing us from afar, he slid out from behind a particularly tall tomb and stood in front of the camera lens.  It was here that his suggestion for the absurd was performed, one hand on hip-the other pointing to his member.  I must say he casually conducted himself as if the whole situation where quite normal.

Needless to say, we did not.  Our faces simultaneously formed the same disgusted expression as we packed up our things.

I cannot for the life of me imagine a world where a mother and daughter would agree to participate in a threesome together-much less with a stranger-much less with a stranger in a cemetery.

Just goes to show-this City of Love is capable of just about anything.


7 Responses to “menage-a-what?”

  1. woodynyou March 4, 2010 at 1:46 pm #

    Although I am as open minded as the next guy, I think that guy jumped the shark when he asked you for a threesome with your mother. It does bring up the percentage question — if he asked 100 couples would he get one yes? (maybe more like 1,000)

    • wanderingmenace March 4, 2010 at 1:57 pm #

      Given what he was offering, I’m going to say no. MAYBE he’d be successful once out of a thousand (though certainly still not with my mother and I) if he were offering cash, or the chance to be on some kind of sick reality t.v. show. But without dangling a carrot-he was just dangling himself. And believe me, it wasn’t pretty.

  2. Shane March 4, 2010 at 3:39 pm #

    LOL ok that made me laugh. I can only imagine the laughs the both of you had after this. One of those funny memories that you will both look back on in years to come and say…..remember when….
    I love it.

  3. Courtney March 4, 2010 at 3:42 pm #

    Um… I think it might be the cemetary. On my senior trip our first stop was Pere Lachaise and my friend and I got propositioned, too. Without having been able to check into the hotel, hours of travel behind us, this was our first introduction to a French man. He wasn’t bald though, or quite as bold. Still left an impression, though.

    • wanderingmenace March 4, 2010 at 3:44 pm #

      love it court, love it.

      And Shane, of all people-it is my father that thinks this story is the most hilarious to tell dinner guests. It always gets a good laugh.

  4. Elle March 5, 2010 at 2:09 am #

    You had me hooked from the very first line, haha. That is insane…I cannot believe someone would EVER do that. Then again…there are some pretty screwed up people out there. I’m loving the content here and looking forward to reading more!!

    P.S. Thank you for your awesome comment :)!

  5. Sebastian March 7, 2010 at 5:08 pm #

    There’s this amazing video… along the same lines… I’ll email you it (the site is NSFW, and there’s a penis involved I think…)

    I’m sure you’d accept such a proposition if the guy was nice enough, no? *flutters eyelashes*

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