Yesterday a watermelon was my best friend. You see, I am currently living out day two of the worst hangover I’ve ever had. How it has managed to linger this long is beyond me, except to say-I must be getting old. In fact, if how I feel is any indication, I should never be allowed to drink again. Someone get me a walker and a senior citizen discount, my big-night out days have come to a close.
To be fair, I blame the gorgeous redhead who was my date this Monday. We haven’t seen each other in a year, so of course had much to discuss (men, law-school, my documentary, men again, future plans-you know the drill). Somehow champagne, dinner, and copious amounts of wine near the Eiffel Tower led to beer, hard liquor, and cocktails in the Marais.
Hence, the hangover.
Still, chatting with Miss Foxy brought back memories of bartending together. In particular, the night that a middle-aged couple sat in the corner of our bar as we served and politely chatted with them. After about three beers, the husband in this situation turned to his wife and asked if she would prefer the blonde or the redhead in a threesome. They evidently were under the impression that we couldn’t hear them, and went on to discuss the pros and cons of either choice in explicit detail as we pretended not to notice.
Turns out the woman preferred blondes, while her husband was anxious to try out a ginger. I remember that we egged them on, and at one point I poured shots for the four of us while proclaiming,
‘we’re going to do it all together’ -of course, I meant the shot, but was just dying to tease this couple. The point was not missed on either of them, and as she took her shot, my vixen friend muttered to me:
‘Ryan, you are going to hell’.
So it is that karma has hit me. I toyed with the middle-aged couple by teasing them for tips. I was shameless. If this hangover is any indication, I do shameless pretty damn well.
So if any of you have the perfect hangover cure, please, don’t hesitate to pass it on….