teenage wasteland: wishing I’d been a punk rocker in my prime

24 Nov

Last Sunday I discovered that when surrounded by London’s original punk rockers, it is difficult to appear cool and collected.

But pear cider helps.

I was invited to a show at the Scala to watch Agent Provocateur, Chiefs of Relief, Bow wow wow, and Adam Ant.

Clearly, my air-guitar skills were no match against the professionals.

I mean really, these were band members from a scene I only wish I had been cool enough (or old enough for that matter) to be a part of.  Trust me, had I been British and a teenager in the late eighties, I would have plaid-skirted it up with the best of them.

As it was, I happened to meet them at 29, over beers, in the VIP bar of the show.  Not a teenager anymore by any stretch of the imagination, but definitely still awestruck to be in the same room as a former Sex Pistol and the many talented punks I was happily watching onstage.

I chatted it up with some of the band members, but tried to remain as quiet as possible for fear that my obvious lack of knowledge regarding music would deem me intolerably boring.  I’m pretty sure I just looked like a groupie anyway, so for the most part the band members ignored me.

I mean seriously, I’m a wandering menace.  They are punk rockers.

My narcissism does not reach so far as to question who is cooler here.  Come on.  There is no question.

-Insert that doe-eyed stare that always gets me into trouble here-

So to report to any of you who still have a place in your heart for the Brit punk scene-let me state, these guys are awesome.

I even got in a discussion about Obama with one of them.  Which I can assure you, I did not see coming.

For the record, musicians are my kryptonite.  Doesn’t matter if they’re old.  Doesn’t matter if I’m not even attracted to them.  They rock, they know it.  I know it.  I end up gazing.

In my next life I am coming back as a rockstar.  Maybe in a Zilla costume, but a rockstar nonetheless.

All the pear cider in the world can’t bring on the confidence of standing onstage, fist-pumping, leg-kicking, and collecting admirers.

God. Bless. Punk. Rock.


11 Responses to “teenage wasteland: wishing I’d been a punk rocker in my prime”

  1. Sarah November 24, 2010 at 3:24 pm #

    It is cool.

  2. Bob November 24, 2010 at 3:59 pm #

    Glad you got to hang out with your punk rock heros.
    The closest I ever got to that scene was last year when I was in what remains of CBGB, it’s an upscale clothing store now. Sad to the extreme.

    I have to agree with you that rock in all forms is about attitude, fuck the world and all that. Sex, drugs and rock and roll!!! People change and the world that gave rise to punk is long dead.

    But that still doesn’t stop me from cranking up the Ramones to 11 when the mood strikes me.

    Someone help me I wanna get sedated!!!

    You RAWK Ryzilla!!

    • wanderingmenace November 24, 2010 at 4:12 pm #

      Your Spinal Tap reference just won my respect Bob.
      You also rawk.

      • Bob November 24, 2010 at 9:05 pm #

        Well I am old school, I figured that I wouldn’t have to explain 11 to someone as worldly as youself.

        On the subject of course I Rock! I am Canadian, we live the rock and roll life all winter that’s what keeps us warm.

        Anyone here caught cracking a bottle and NOT throwing the cap away is seriously a pussy.

  3. Fil November 25, 2010 at 12:51 am #

    Punk clearly rocks through your veins.
    Just look at your name(s)….
    Ryzilla one day on stage
    It ain’t just a phase
    You may drink pear cider
    But there’s more to that inside’ya
    Like an atomic ball of fun
    Keep me laughing right through till another dawn where you shine like the sun

    • wanderingmenace November 25, 2010 at 9:19 am #


      What’s happening here? Is this freestyle? Should I get my finger symbols?
      I’m confused.

      I’m glad you didn’t do that at the show.
      Seriously dude, you might have been shunned by the punks.

  4. Gnetch November 25, 2010 at 4:28 am #

    Well, you got the chance to hang out with a punk rock band. That means you’re gonna be a punk rocker in your next life. I mean, it’s a sign.


    P.S. Your grandma is so cool.

    • wanderingmenace November 25, 2010 at 9:08 am #

      Well I certainly hope it’s a sign! How great that would be!!

      Yes getting the comments from my grandmother is always a treat.

  5. subWOW November 26, 2010 at 8:03 am #

    You now cool this is? How cool they are? That you met them and I am reading this post over the 1’s and 0’s and I am feeling some coolness oozing out of the monitor. That’s how COOL they are. It’s like so powerfully cool that you can be cool just by osmosis, yes, even over the Internet, and yes, even second-hand.

    • wanderingmenace November 26, 2010 at 11:00 am #

      Yea they are really cool. I’m glad you enjoyed this!

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