Wizards, fox-roaming, and a mild cocaine addiction

30 Nov

I knew she was drunk when she repeatedly picked up the receiver in the public phone booth to ask for the Minestry of Magic.

When that didn’t work, she started hollering:

“Dumbledore, Albus.  Just trying to make this damn phone booth work m’am.  Just a muggle in need.”

It was two days after Christmas.  It was cold.  My cousin and I were stalking the streets of London in search for excitement.

Being two outgoing American ladies, we managed to finagle our way into a conversation that led to an invitation for pub-crawling.

Obviously this was a good plan.

Or not.

By the time the invitation was offered, we had both consumed several beverages.  The woman suggesting this great adventure was British and judging by the manner in which she kept licking her gums and disappearing into the bathroom-I’m guessing she was a little too into powdering her nose.

But no matter, her friends were fun.  They knew a club.  We chose to follow.

It was on the trek to the establishment when my cousin and I fell behind due to her fascination with the phone booths.  Well, that and my obsession with spotting a fox.

I know what you’re thinking, but hear me out.

Wild foxes roam about London.  Seriously.

I saw one in front of the National Gallery one day that stopped traffic.  The thing was so tame it wandered up to a woman on her cell phone and started sniffing her shoes.  She glanced down expecting to see a dog, but found a red-furred carnivore lazily seeking sandwich crumbs.

So while my cousin sought out Hogwarts’ finest, I set about looking under parked cars for Robin Hood.

It took us some time to catch up to the others.

By the time we did we could no longer locate our sniffing companion.

Not that it mattered.  The club was interesting and full of characters.  I talked to a man who claimed to have seven toes on one foot.  She managed to get herself tangled up in a conversation where she attempted to convince a British chap that she was speaking with a proper English accent.

She didn’t succeed and I didn’t get a proper toe reveal.

As the club grew stale, she and I wandered back outside in search of a taxi and the warmth of our beds.  Giggling in the car, we came to the conclusion that we’d just started our own Christmas tradition.  Forget roast goose, with pub-crawling, wizard-seeking, and near fox-spotting this was true holiday bonding.

If Dickens was watching, I’m sure he was proud.

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16 Responses to “Wizards, fox-roaming, and a mild cocaine addiction”

  1. Artswebshow November 30, 2010 at 1:18 pm #

    lol. random.
    I like it

    • wanderingmenace November 30, 2010 at 1:23 pm #

      well thanks. It was random, but definitely fun. 🙂

  2. Jimmy November 30, 2010 at 1:20 pm #

    The Ministry of Magic ah, classic!

    I can for some reason see those crazy British folks going around in their horses in London trying to fox hunt and this happening regardless of people around. I for the record like foxes.

    I think I likely would offend the English by saying Ello Gov’na to them.

    – Jimmy

    • wanderingmenace November 30, 2010 at 1:23 pm #

      Actually the fox I saw in the city was being treated like royalty. Haha, a policeman was following him around, making sure he didn’t get harassed. When he curled up under a car that was stopped at a red light, the officer knocked on the drivers window and said:
      “sorry sir, but you can’t go just yet. There’s a fox here.”

      Was pretty cool to see one so tame.

  3. Bob November 30, 2010 at 1:40 pm #

    I can relate to the foxes in London, Winnipeg is mostly rural on the outskirts of town so we have the tendency to be over run with all sorts of wild beasties. Deer in particular cause all sorts of havoc all year long, there are a number of protected forest areas in the city where deer freely breed and roam. They figure they are immune to traffic and end up as hood ornaments quite often.

    Too bad that you didn’t get to see the extra toes, that would have been a hoot. Adventure just seems to find you, have fun with your upcoming adventures!!

    • wanderingmenace November 30, 2010 at 1:44 pm #

      I love the saying: that was a hoot. It makes me laugh and reminds me of Cow and Chicken.
      I’m glad I don’t drive where you live, I’d be scared to hit wildlife!!

  4. Allison November 30, 2010 at 4:59 pm #

    Now that’s a Christmas story that will warm your heart.

  5. TheIdiotSpeaketh November 30, 2010 at 5:47 pm #

    I had three wonderful years of London pub crawling….but missed the dang foxes! Luckily, I also missed 7 toed Harry as well…

    • wanderingmenace November 30, 2010 at 8:20 pm #

      Yes well 7 toed Harry’s seem to just find me….
      Cool that you were here for three years.
      I just read your panty-grabbing post and now my tummy hurts from laughing.

  6. Gnetch November 30, 2010 at 8:21 pm #

    I’ve always loved to go to London!! If I get to take a picture of me beside a fox, my life would be complete.

    • wanderingmenace November 30, 2010 at 8:23 pm #

      well Gnetch, next time I see one, I’ll take a pic. That way we can have some fun with photoshop.

  7. seine November 30, 2010 at 10:52 pm #

    foxes, eh? that’s unusual for sure. i would have wanted to see the 7 toes!

  8. perpetuallypeeved December 1, 2010 at 1:24 am #

    I think my sister in law and your cousin would get along well. Seven toes makes me wants to vomit.

  9. Courtney December 1, 2010 at 4:17 pm #

    You’re back!! Yay. I haven’t checked in a while – and looks like I’ve got a bit of reading to do to catch up. I, of course, look forward to your family stories the most. 😉

    • wanderingmenace December 1, 2010 at 4:26 pm #

      hahaha
      well it helps that you can picture all characters in action, and that you’ve witnessed some of the stories up close and personal. 🙂

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