Passports, sandwich-wrappers, and monster love affairs

7 Nov

She’s baaaaaaaaaack…….

That’s right.  After sending me on a wild goose chase that would have given Sam and Frodo a run for their money, Zilla returned this morning.

She’s been snoozing since eight, but I suspect I’ll get an answer as to her whereabouts later this afternoon.

Here’s what I know:

-She’s wearing parachute pants that are neither worn out enough to be vintage, nor from this decade.  I suspect foul-play with that busted up time machine of mine.  It would also explain the armor on her right arm, which is either from a Gladiator television prop chest, or the real-deal.

-Her passport has stamps from various countries, including a short-stint in Pakistan earlier this year, which I can assure you-I have some questions about….

-She appears to have acquired real-estate, scuba, skydiving, pilot, taxi, and rickshaw licenses.  Two of which expired in the late nineties.  One of them appears to have expired at some point in the early 16th century, but the bite marks make it hard to tell for certain.

-She has a tattoo indicating a romance has transpired between herself and what appears to be a mythical creature yet to be identified.

-Her backpack has sandwich wrappers from at least five different airports.  There is also an unopened bottle of pickles inside.

-I can’t be certain, but I think she’s lost weight.

-Her journal is hard for me to read (those twiggy branch fingers of hers to blame), but it seems she has either won the lottery in the past, is planning to do so in the future, or has drawn up an assassination plan for JJ Abrams.

I’m going to be having long chats with her in the upcoming days to get her stories and find out why on earth she found it acceptable to leave for such an extended period of time.  Unacceptable, I assure you.

Regardless, I wanted to let you all know as soon as she got in.

Obviously, we have much to discuss.

I’ll be traveling around to your blogs in the next weeks to catch up on your news.

Feels good to be back.

Rawr.

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15 Responses to “Passports, sandwich-wrappers, and monster love affairs”

  1. wolfshades November 7, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    Wow. It’s been ages. Can’t wait to hear your stories. Welcome back!

    • wanderingmenace November 7, 2011 at 1:51 pm #

      Yes, yes it has wolfshades. Thanks for the kind welcome back! I missed my space here and all you guys 🙂

  2. TheIdiotSpeaketh November 7, 2011 at 2:14 pm #

    Hey Ryan aka Blondezilla! So great to have you back in Blogville! I could not eat a sandwich all these months without thinking of you! ha ha You dissapear again like that and I will have to send the Harem Mafia out after you! Welcome Back!! 🙂

    • wanderingmenace November 7, 2011 at 2:30 pm #

      Noted Idiot, noted. That is one group of ladies I don’t want to be on the wrong side of!! Thanks for the nice words, let’s get back to the business of cracking each other up, whaddya say?

      • TheIdiotSpeaketh November 7, 2011 at 2:48 pm #

        I’m juggling the cats as we speak……meow whoosh meow whoosh meow splat meow meow meow…… I didn’t say I was any good….. 🙂

  3. Courtney November 7, 2011 at 4:05 pm #

    Yay! She’s back. Can’t wait to read more.

  4. gnetchh November 7, 2011 at 5:20 pm #

    Aaaaaaaaaaahh!!!! You’re back!!! 🙂

    So great to hear from you!!

    • wanderingmenace November 8, 2011 at 11:00 pm #

      You as well Gnetchh, was on your blog yesterday, you’re cracking me up as usual. Loving the drawings, keep it up 🙂

  5. Sarah November 7, 2011 at 6:25 pm #

    Welcome back!

    • wanderingmenace November 8, 2011 at 11:01 pm #

      Thank you Sarah! Checked out your latest updates yesterday, looks like things are going well with you…..:)
      Excited to hear how it progresses

  6. M.A.Krauss November 7, 2011 at 9:42 pm #

    Welcome back!!

    • wanderingmenace November 8, 2011 at 11:02 pm #

      Why thank you Auntie, thank you very much 🙂

      You on skype yet, I believe we are due for a long chat mydear

  7. chickensconsigliere November 8, 2011 at 1:29 am #

    Well, a friend of mine was recently involved in a wedding in Pakistan. Hmmm. Chicken thinking, Chicken thinking, steam rising, yes, putting two and two together. Holy cow, that’s it, isn’t it? Zilla is the new James Bond! Wow. Too bad about the Rickshaw license. You don’t want to let those things lapse. The new permit test is a killer. Then again, Zilla will probably be operating something more space age these days. Good to have you back, Menace.

    • wanderingmenace November 8, 2011 at 11:06 pm #

      Chicken, don’t think too much because I don’t want you to accidentally poach your head with all the steam, though I believe you may be on to something.
      Zilla was off running errands today but has assured me she will keep me updated on her Pakistan adventures later on…..
      It is too bad about the rickshaw.
      You know what would be awesome? If Zilla and Pearl Annabelle Lafleur took a rickshaw trip together.
      Something tells me we’d both have a lot to write about then…
      Thanks for reading 🙂

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