I’m considering starting a rhythmic performance art show with kid-Ginger.
True, I have limited musical talent (save for interpretive dance and on a good day-finger symbols). There’s also the minor detail that my brother doesn’t play any instruments. But what American dream hasn’t started on the bitter cement of nothing?
None dear reader, absolutely none.
I suppose this logic could be applied to potential careers in other industries, but I’m sticking to music. Besides, if we slap the genre post-modern on our vision, I don’t see how we can go wrong.
Let me set the stage (or street corner-as I’m thinking this is the most likely first venue) for you.
Brother leaning against a building (preferably condemned-capturing the essence of our time), a broken guitar sadly leans against his ripped denim-clad kneecap. Myself front and center, one hand in pocket, other casually dangling finger symbols, suspenders hug my Mr. T t-shirt. Kid-Ginger taps his feet to music the audience can only imagine as there is none actually playing. I stand still, creepily eyeing anyone stopping to watch-holding eye contact like a ninja goldfish, ready to launch.
Brother steadies himself from building, hangs the tattered fret board off one shoulder, saunters down sidewalk, and utters the words:
“Art. Is. Unemployed.”
Enter in the finger symbol.
Tapping the broken guitar against his thigh, he then proceeds to recite select passages from A Christmas Carol, haunting chime of the symbol periodically echoing his phrases.
Finishing with the passages regarding Tiny Tim-(lets say ten minutes later), he again repeats the phrase:
“Art. Is. Unemployed.”
At which point, the symbol releases me from my frozen stance as I start quickly repeating that gem from the 80’s:
“I pity the fool. I pity the fool. I pity the fool. I pity the fool.”
Which of course, is Kid-Ginger’s cue to slam out air guitar, full with leg kicks and the occasional head-bang. This goes on for about five minutes, with my intonation ranging from childlike to scary-beast voice (have practiced in mirror-fear not readers, fear not).
Final symbol chimes.
We both freeze.
Kid-Ginger looks over at me, sighs and utters:
I return my hands to my pockets, glare at the audience and state:
With any luck, we’d end up with enough cash for two orders of waffles at IHOP.
If ordering those at that establishment isn’t enough indication of our nonconformist nature, then I’d better start revamping my resume.
After this at least I can add ‘ability to make fool of self for cash’ under skills.